Safety Hazards
by poke-a-spark
Summary: Tumblr prompt. Emma's taking Ruby for a drive but won't tell her where. Ruby's set on reminding Emma that she doesn't do surprises; she's sure she can make Emma crack, it might just take a while to find the best method of persuasion.


Red Swan (Red/Emma) Prompt. Fluff.

**PROMPT: **thecranefeels asked: Red Swan, Storybrooke, Emma crashes the bug outside town with Ruby in the passenger's seat.

**SUMMARY:** Emma's taking Ruby for a drive but won't tell her where. Ruby's set on reminding Emma that she doesn't do surprises; she's sure she can make Emma crack, it might just take a while to find the best method of persuasion.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Once upon a Time or its characters. I am not making a profit from this story. In fact, if you recognize it… I probably don't own it. Actually, I'm kind of happy I don't own it; I had a hard enough time keeping my fish alive.

**Safety Hazards**

**o0o0o0o**

"So…" Ruby trailed off, acting nonchalantly as she propped her head up with her hand against the window and turned it towards the driver. "Where did you say we were going again?"

Emma smiled; she knew it wouldn't be long until Ruby started up. The girl was more curious than a puppy. In fact, Emma was genuinely surprised that she had lasted the past five minutes. "I didn't."

"Oh. Right." Ruby forced herself to look outside, letting the sounds of the radio envelop the two of them. Soon her fingers began to twitch; the ones not holding her head up tapping erratically against the leg of her pants, before she cracked. "Then where _are_ we going?"

Ruby frowned as Emma was seemingly too caught up in the music to hear her, let alone respond. She couldn't understand why, however, since the song was decidedly the opposite of tasteful in her opinion. In fact, it wasn't Emma's usual cup of tea either.

"Emma?" No response.

"Emma." The girl in question began humming along horribly to the song, her hums completely off key.

"Emma!" Ruby exclaimed, exasperated. She was thoroughly convinced the older woman was ignoring her.

"It's a surprise," Emma responded, deciding to yield that much at least. This whole trip was to cheer the other up after her spat with Granny, after all, not to get her pissed off at another person. Namely Emma herself.

"A surprise?" Ruby asked, quite honestly surprised. The sheriff knew she was no good at surprises. In fact, the last time she can remember being surprised by something like this was when she was little, before she figured out where Granny hid the gifts. She couldn't for the life of her remember how old she was at the time, that detail seemed to be lost in a haze, but she knew that since then she had rarely been surprised. In fact, she could even smell when a thunderstorm was coming, so not even the weather could pull one over her eyes.

"Surprise!" Emma grinned; glancing at Ruby's disgruntled expression through the corner of her eye.

Nonplussed, Ruby sat in her seat in silence, not sure how to respond. Soon, however, the curiosity began eating at her; it was for this very reason she had become so adept at _not_ being the subject of surprises. Deciding to skip the pleasantries and head straight for the big guns, she turned completely in her seat and gazed at her girlfriend with her puppy-dog face, complete with slightly watery eyes. "Can you please tell me?"

Emma's hands gripped the steering wheel tighter, her eyes not straying from the road as she tried to distract herself by singing along with the radio as it played a song she actually knew. Practically feeling the sweat gathering on her brow, Emma could slowly feel herself cracking before she mentally shook her head. She was adamant that that horribly awful face would not do her in this time; she had willpower damn it and she was going to use it. It helped, however, that she wasn't actually seeing the face in question.

Face turning into a pout as her usually ultimate weapon had no effect on the girl next to her, Ruby harrumphed. Sliding lower in her seat, she crossed her arms, Emma's imperceptible sigh of relief going completely over her sensitive ears. Ruby, however, wasn't one to give up, and Emma knew she was only going to be silent while making a game plan.

Uncrossing her arms, Ruby straightened up, a smile lightening her features before she quickly smothered it with a sly look. "So…" Leaning towards Emma, she fiddled lightly with the buttons on her shirt. "How about you tell me where we're going, and I'll… Oh, I don't know, do something for you in return…"

Emma glanced at the hand fiddling with her top button before she shifted her gaze towards Ruby quickly. "Anything?"

"Anything," Ruby agreed with a victorious grin, before quickly shifting her expression once more into a sly, sultry smile.

"Ah, well…" Emma trailed off, seemingly thinking about the proposition. "You still owe me two 'anythings', so how about... No."

"What, I-" Ruby started only to be cut off.

"Last week for letting you have the last cup of hot chocolate, and the week before for sneaking into your window with a box of cake." Emma responded dryly. "At two in the morning."

Rebuffed, Ruby mumbled under her breath as she settled back down in her seat, having tasted victory only to have it pulled right out from under her by her damn cravings. "But I like chocolate…"

"I do too," Emma replied to the younger girl, despite knowing full well that her statement needed no response. "That doesn't mean I call you at two in the morning to sneak some in because I've been cut off." She teased slightly, brow raised.

"I-Whatever," the younger girl huffed. Tracing an imaginary pattern on the door, Ruby picked her pride off of the floor and dusted it off, ready to try again. Putting on an appropriately serious face, she ordered, "Tell me or no sex. For a month."

Emma actually turned her whole head this time, incredulous, before snapping back towards the road. "Rubes, I love you, but you would self-combust before the month would be through."

"What?" Ruby huffed indignantly. "I would not! I could totally go without for a month."

"Really?" Emma asked, disbelief coloring her tone.

"Really." Ruby stated hotly.

"Oh? What about the time when you dragged me into the walk-in fridge at the diner?" Ruby opened her mouth to reply only to be cut off before she began. "Or the time we were alone at the Inn and ended up doing it in every single room? Or last week when you refused to let me leave the shower until half the city's hot water was used up? Or even last night when you jumped me while Mary Margaret was _in the next room_?"

Ruby opened and closed her mouth as Emma turned back to the road, satisfied that she had won. "Oh yeah, well," Ruby started, "what about the time you jumped me after your run? And we did not use that much hot water."

"Oh yes we did," Emma retorted. "I'm the one who had to pay the damn bill. And for the record, as I recall _you_ were the one to push _me_ into the door and kiss _me_."

"It wasn't my fault, dammit." Ruby muttered, cross. "You were all sweaty and-and practically naked and _panting_."

"So you admit you were the one to jump me?" Emma asked.

"Oh, shut up." Ruby grumbled, glaring at the side of her head. The woman was insufferable.

"Are we there yet?" As Ruby said it, an idea popped into her head.

"Not yet." Emma responded, wary.

Silence.

"Are we there yet?" Ruby asked again, batting her eyelashes.

"No."

"Are we _there_ yet?" Ruby whined this time, a few moments later.

"Ruby…" Emma said warningly, aware of the girl's new plan to get the information she wanted.

"Okay, okay," Ruby through her hands up. "I'll stop." Emma relaxed slightly before Ruby shot out quickly, "Are we there _yet_?"

"Ruby!" Emma shouted, exasperated.

Ruby glowered; these plans weren't working like she thought they would. By now she should know where they were going, why they were going, how long it would take to get there, how long they'd stay there, and why Emma was taking her there specifically. Instead she knew nothing. Absolutely _nothing_.

Sighing, Ruby crossed her arms and turned her head to stare out the window, giving the other woman the cold shoulder in a last ditch effort to get her to crack. Instead, Emma seemed to welcome the silence, relaxing in her seat and bopping her head slightly to the music. Minutes passed as Ruby began to fidget increasingly and Emma made bets with herself as to when exactly she wouldn't be able to hold her tongue any longer.

It was as they passed the last house on the way out of Storybrooke minutes later that Ruby finally cracked. Grabbing Emma's arm, she gave it a little shake. "Come on. Just a hint; a little tiny itty bitty hint." Ruby asked, desperately.

"It's a surprise, Rubes." Emma shook her head at the girl's predictability. "Just relax."

Giving the older girl the stink eye, Ruby opened her mouth to reply only to snap it shut. Trying to keep her face blank, she shifted closer to the other woman, leaning her head on her shoulder and placing one hand on the thigh in front of her.

"Ruby," Emma trailed off warily, eyeing the younger girl out of the corner of her eye.

"What? I'm just getting comfortable," She replied, innocently. Emma eyed her for a second longer before looking back at the road, relaxing. It wasn't until she felt the hand on her thigh move in a slight circular motion that she stammered, distracted.

"R-Ruby!" Emma exclaimed, only to squeak as the younger girl puffed hotly in her ear.

"Yes?" Ruby smiled smugly before licking the shell of Emma's ear, delighting in the shiver it caused.

"I-I, you need to, oh…" Emma's protest trailed off lightly as a small moan escaped her, Ruby's nipping at her ear before moving down to her neck thoroughly distracting her. It wasn't until moments later when she felt the hand drift passed her thigh that Emma's eyes snapped open with a gasp, only to gasp again as she swerved to avoid hitting a tree.

Ruby was thrown back in her seat with a squeak as the yellow bug did a few donuts on the wet road before finally taking the ditch, the tail end of the small vehicle hitting a large tree. As she blinked back the spots in her eyes when Emma frantically opened her door and pushed the infernal airbag out of her face, Ruby came to the conclusion that she must have passed out briefly. Or Emma was superman.

"Ruby! Rubes?" Emma moved the other's head to face her own, eyes worriedly flickering back and forth between dazed eyes. "Come on love, answer me…" Emma pleaded anxiously.

Ruby's eyes finally focused enough for her to glance around and take in the beating the little bug had taken. Slowly, Ruby began to chuckle lowly. As if the fog had lifted in response to a sunny day, her laugh slowly grew in intensity until it was a full-blown, gut-wrenching laugh, complete with gasping breaths and tears. Forgotten was her spat with Granny and her earlier ire at Emma, replaced by a sparkling jolly laughter that took both of them by surprise.

"Ruby…?" Emma asked hesitantly, unsure if the crash had done more damage than she thought.

Slowly calming down, Ruby looked up from her seat with a grin, eyes sparkling. "Can we do that again?"

And it was that statement that cause Emma to sigh in relief; It was her girl alright, craziness and all. "God, no." Looking the younger girl over for injuries, Emma helped her out of the slightly squished vehicle. "Are you hurt?"

Ruby took stock of her health but the only things she found amiss were a slight headache and a bruised shin. "Nope." Ruby looked the car over from outside, whistling. "Wow, am I ever glad we took your car."

"It's your fault, you know." Emma pouted slightly, now that she knew Ruby was okay. "You were distracting me."

"Aren't you police types supposed to be able to withstand distractions and all that jazz?" Ruby inquired, impishly, not sorry at all that she had just caused them to crash. "Anyways, you should have been watching the road."

Cutting off Emma's grumbling, Ruby looked pointedly at the vehicle. It wasn't going anywhere. "So, since the only place we're going is back home, and on foot I might add, will you tell me _now_ were you were taking me?"

Emma shook her head in disbelief at Ruby's relentlessness before sighing dejectedly. "I wanted to take you to see lemurs, to, you know, cheer you up." Emma mumbled, toeing the dirt.

Ruby's eyes softened, a smile coming to her lips as she enveloped the smaller woman in a hug. "It's a sweet thought, Em, but I don't need to go see lemurs to be happy."

"No?" Emma brought her hands to rest around Ruby's neck.

"You're all the lemur I need, silly," Ruby licked Emma's nose playfully before ducking down to kiss her.

Emma melted into the kiss, relieved that Ruby's bad mood seemed to have vanished. In the face of a happy Ruby, a few more dents and scratches on her bug didn't seem at all important. It was as Ruby turned them around and pressed her into the side of her car that a thought came to Emma, causing her break off the kiss abruptly. Looking towards the way they came, Emma groaned.

"What is it?' Ruby frowned in confusion, looking in the same direction and only seeing the back of the 'Leaving Storybrooke' sign.

"The curse. Henry thinks the town's cursed and no one can leave. He'll have a field day with this." Emma groaned again, his reaction already coming to mind.

"Well," Ruby responded, before raising an eyebrow. "Are you going to be the one to tell him the _real_ reason we crashed?"

Emma blanked; the thought of having _that_ conversation with her ten year old not on her top ten list of things to do at the moment. Or, ever, really. Instead, Emma yanked the smartass closer and mumbled against her lips dejectedly. "The curse it is."

**o0o0o0o**

A/N: Is it crazy that I seem to write faster/ ideas come to me easier in the wee hours of the morning while my brains screaming 'sleeeep!' in a horrible zombie impersonation? Yes? Okay, then.


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